Appel, George: "Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked apple."
Barney, Jeffrey: "I'm tingling all over."
Flegensheimer, Arthur :"Mother is the best bet."
French, James: "How about this for a headline? French fries."
Garrett, Johnny Frank: "I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass."
Grasso, Thomas J: "I did not get my Spaghetti-Os. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."
Johnson, Edward E: "I guess no one's going to call."
Loeb, Richard A: "I think I'm going to make it."
McCarty, Henry: "Who is it?"
Parks, Roby Leroy: "I'm still awake."
Roges, James: "Why yes, a bullet proof vest."
Spenkelink, John: "Capital punishment; them without the capital get the punishment."
Tucker, Karla Fay: "I am going to be face to face with Jesus now. . . . I will see you all when you get there. I will wait for you
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'M ON DRUGS!
Last Words are the be all and end all of our lives. They should be an ultimate pearl of wisdom to lookers on and sum up all that we feel about our life. Unfortunately death tends to be an unplanned event like a trip on a rock or the passing of gas. We are not all as quick witted as the writers or the comedians, as grand as the presidents or the queens. Here is a list of my favourite doozies of last words and the ones i want to tattoo on the back of my hand so i can recite at a moments notice.
Marie Antoinette: "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur" - As she was walking up to be executed, she accidentally trod on the executioners foot. What manners at such a time!
Ethel Barrymore: "Are you happy? I'm happy."
Henry Ward Beecher: "Now comes the mystery"- this ones going straight on my palm.
Emily Bronte: "I lingered around them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."- Who else could spit that out at a moments notice.
Luther Burbank: "I don't feel good."
Charlie Chaplin: When the priest, who was attending him on his deathbed, said "May the Lord have mercy on your soul," Chaplin quickly replied, "Why not? After all, it belongs to him."
Robert Erskine Childers: "Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way."- Says the man who died in firing squad.
Frances "Two Gun" Crowley: "You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother."- Infamous bank robber and murdered.
E.E. Cummings: "I'm going to sharpen the axe before I put it up, dear."
James Dean: "That guy's got to stop. . . . He'll see us."- How terribly wrong he was.
Emily Dickinson: "...the fog is rising."
Thomas Edison: "It's very beautiful over there."
Leonard Euler: "I die."- they always said mathematicians weren't the most creative lot.
Thomas de Mahay Favras: "I see that you have made three spelling mistakes." - He was handed his official death sentence before he was led to the scaffold.
William Frederick: On his deathbed, the priest who came to console the king was reading to him from the Book of Job. "Naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither," read the priest. "No, not quite naked. I shall have my uniform on," replied the king with his last breath.
Peter Pan: "To die would be an awfully big adventure."
Albrecht von Haller: "My friend, the artery ceases to beat."
Mata Hari: After exhausting multiple appeals, she put on a gray dress and straw hat and faced the firing squad at 5:00 am on 15 October. When asked if she had any last words, she responded, "It is unbelievable." She then refused to be tied or blindfolded. As the commands were given, Mata Hari smiled and winked at the firing squad.
Conrad N. Hilton: "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub." We can see now where Miss Paris got her charms from.
George Kelly: "My dear, before you kiss me good-bye, fix you hair. It's a mess."
Saint Lawrence: When he was hung over a bed of coals until he burned to death, he was asked for any last requests to which he replied, "Turn me. I am roasted on one side."
Abraham Lincoln: Oh, well he just laughed.
Karl Marx: "Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"
Eugene O'Neill: "Born in a hotel room--and God damn it--died in a hotel room."
General John Sedgwick: "The couldn't hit an elephant at this distance..."
Gertrude Stein: When Stein was dying of cancer, she turned to Alice B. Toklas and whispered, "What is the answer?" Miss Toklas did not respond. Stein nodded, as if in agreement, and continued, "In that case, what is the question?"
Francisco Villa: "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
J.M Barrie: "I can't sleep."- And then he learnt he could sleep very well.
Roman Emperor: "I live!"
Aleister Crowley: "I am perplexed. Satan get out."
Marie Antoinette: "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur" - As she was walking up to be executed, she accidentally trod on the executioners foot. What manners at such a time!
Ethel Barrymore: "Are you happy? I'm happy."
Henry Ward Beecher: "Now comes the mystery"- this ones going straight on my palm.
Emily Bronte: "I lingered around them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."- Who else could spit that out at a moments notice.
Luther Burbank: "I don't feel good."
Charlie Chaplin: When the priest, who was attending him on his deathbed, said "May the Lord have mercy on your soul," Chaplin quickly replied, "Why not? After all, it belongs to him."
Robert Erskine Childers: "Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way."- Says the man who died in firing squad.
Frances "Two Gun" Crowley: "You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother."- Infamous bank robber and murdered.
E.E. Cummings: "I'm going to sharpen the axe before I put it up, dear."
James Dean: "That guy's got to stop. . . . He'll see us."- How terribly wrong he was.
Emily Dickinson: "...the fog is rising."
Thomas Edison: "It's very beautiful over there."
Leonard Euler: "I die."- they always said mathematicians weren't the most creative lot.
Thomas de Mahay Favras: "I see that you have made three spelling mistakes." - He was handed his official death sentence before he was led to the scaffold.
William Frederick: On his deathbed, the priest who came to console the king was reading to him from the Book of Job. "Naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither," read the priest. "No, not quite naked. I shall have my uniform on," replied the king with his last breath.
Peter Pan: "To die would be an awfully big adventure."
Albrecht von Haller: "My friend, the artery ceases to beat."
Mata Hari: After exhausting multiple appeals, she put on a gray dress and straw hat and faced the firing squad at 5:00 am on 15 October. When asked if she had any last words, she responded, "It is unbelievable." She then refused to be tied or blindfolded. As the commands were given, Mata Hari smiled and winked at the firing squad.
Conrad N. Hilton: "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub." We can see now where Miss Paris got her charms from.
George Kelly: "My dear, before you kiss me good-bye, fix you hair. It's a mess."
Saint Lawrence: When he was hung over a bed of coals until he burned to death, he was asked for any last requests to which he replied, "Turn me. I am roasted on one side."
Abraham Lincoln: Oh, well he just laughed.
Karl Marx: "Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"
Eugene O'Neill: "Born in a hotel room--and God damn it--died in a hotel room."
General John Sedgwick: "The couldn't hit an elephant at this distance..."
Gertrude Stein: When Stein was dying of cancer, she turned to Alice B. Toklas and whispered, "What is the answer?" Miss Toklas did not respond. Stein nodded, as if in agreement, and continued, "In that case, what is the question?"
Francisco Villa: "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
J.M Barrie: "I can't sleep."- And then he learnt he could sleep very well.
Roman Emperor: "I live!"
Aleister Crowley: "I am perplexed. Satan get out."
Monday, January 19, 2009
Nerdfighters.
Oh I could watch these boys all day. How they amuse me so.
In other news, I'm going to be in the paper! For my exchange! What joy! The interview is going to be outside baskin and robbins. I'm taking money so I can have an ice-cream at 9 in the morning. Never has this opportunity arose so i shall seize it whilst it is in reach.
Monday, January 5, 2009
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